Have you ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach and you really had to fight it? Feelings are a very powerful thing, you know you can't escape them. You have to deal with it. But there are those times that even if those feelings get the best of you, you must learn to suppress it because if you don't, you'd be in deep shit. Deep shit as in, "I'ma cut of your balls if you don't fuck off" deep shit. Why can't life be as simple as "I love you, you love me, let's make out."
Why does love have to have rules like gifts, walks in the park, and the biggest bitch of all, marriage. Can't we just keep it simple? Why is it so hard for a guy to profess his feelings to a gal. I'll you why. Human beings are stupid.
Everyone says we're the dominant species on this planet. According to who?! It's just like the NBA. They declare one of the teams the "World Champions" at the end of the season. And the owners of those teams are all Americans. What the fuck, man? You're just playing yourselves. You never gave a chance to other countries to play you! How the hell can you declare yourselves WORLD champions? Same thing with human beings saying that they're the dominant species in the world. WHO SAYS? Righteous human beings.
Fuck! We're only occupying 10% of the world. The rest of the 90% is covered in water. Now if we base it on population, we aren't dominant. Now let's take a look at survival. When a baby giraffe is born, it falls 6 feet to the ground and still has to stand up and look for its mother tits before it could be fed. Try dropping a new born human baby 6 feet and tell me if even it couldn't stand up, see if it could still suck his mama's tits. Bullshit! Okay that's number one. Look at the cockroach. When it's born, it has to look for it's own food. No mama, no tits, no shit. Dig that. So survival is out. And reproduction? Mosquito males and females don't have to fuck to make baby mosquitoes. Well, that's not really a good example. What would the point of living be if we couldn't fuck? If I were a mosquito, I'd freakin' kill myself.
Anyway, back to my point. It's not really fair to say that human beings are the dominant species on this big blue ball. There is something that we excel in though. And this is something I think many will agree with. Human beings are the most complicated species on this planet. Life could be simple. Take the dog for example. No clothes, licks his own balls, and goes over to a lady dog, and fucks her brains out. No flowers, no chocolates, no walks in the park. Just walks straight up her, smells her pussy for a while, then starts wiggling his way into it. Simple.
Now why can't we be like that? We have to have all these rules. "I can't give you my virginity because we don't know each other that well yet." "Well fuck you bitch! I'ma look fo' some ho'! Ain't got no time fo' yo' shit!" or "Hey boy. I'm bored. Fuck me!" That's how we all ought to be. None of these shitty ass rules.
Back to my main point. The reason for all this ranting and raving is because a long time ago, I fell in love. She was perfect. She made me feel like I was on top of the world. If she had given me the chance, I'd have done the same for her. I worship her like the moon worships the sun. From the start, we couldn't be together because of forces out of our control. We had so much in common and we could talk all day and night. Unfortunately, it just wasn't meant to be. We fell out of touch. I learned to love other women, but the thing is, there's a missing piece in the puzzle. None of these other women really made me happy. I'd fall in and out of love and I didn't know why at first. It's been a while and I met the true love of my life again. Then I realized, all the women I fell in and out of love with were just excuses. She is the light of my life and all other women are shadows. For the brief time that we've been together again, I've cherished every single moment. Distance has separated us at the end, but my heart will never be apart from her. Not anymore. I will never forget the way she makes me feel. And at this point, I don't even care if she doesn't feel for me at all.
To my best friend, my love, my life. I hope and pray you find someone who can make you feel the way you made me feel, someday. As for me, after all I have been through, I don't think I can never find what I found in you. At this point, as long as I can see that you're happy, I will be as well.
On a lighter note, I would like to end by saying: Complications are what make our lives worth living.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Another Downward Spiral
Remember I've written previously that I've transferred to another company to expand my horizons. Instead, what I've managed to do was to sink down deeper into oblivion. I've resigned my prominent title in pursuit of a more promising career. Instead, I've boarded a sinking ship. The company I've transferred to is basically hell. I won't name names so that I could not be implicated for any reason. I'm ashamed to say, instead of standing up to what I believe in, I've decided to take the left hand path and just resigned my position. I don't really believe in the company. It's being run like a slave trade and I have no empathy or sympathy for the company's reputation. I have feelings for the people though. The supervisors have tried to make us feel as home as much as possible but the management in charge of the operations are making things even by giving us a very difficult time. I didn't really payed mind to it at first but later, things would only get worse. Now, instead of standing my ground and trying to make a point, I took everything sitting down. That was my mistake. I feel I could have done more but at this point, I think it's too late. I'm abandoning ship before it sinks. I'm moving on. But that doesn't excuse me from being responsible, even though I wasn't given any responsibility. I feel sorry for the people left that I care about. I'm very sorry to abandon the people I have grown to care for, but I have no regrets in leaving. I just hope this doesn't become my modus operandi for the rest of my life. Still, I can't help but think I could have done more.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Land Transportation Office (LTO)
I just love the corruption in this country. Two days ago, I went to the Land Transportation Office (LTO), equivalent to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) in the States. I just had my license expire oh, for about a year. A friend of mine, also had his license expire, except his expired for two years. I imagine, it'll either take him longer, or more expensive to get his license renewed. Anyway, we woke up that day, met up, and it was off to the LTO for us.
It was a hot Friday morning in Mandaue City, Cebu, Philippines. My friend and I ate our breakfast separately, and at about 8 am, we arrived at the LTO office. Take note, we were in the domain of the government, and my friend and I, between us, we had 5 years of expired licenses. But when we pulled up at the LTO office with a Toyota Corolla, we weren't given a hard time. I parked my car in front of the office and locked it up. If you don't lock up your car here in our country, even if you park it in front of a police station, it's still gonna get robbed. That's protocol.
Anyway, almost immediately, two guys in street clothes approached us and asked us what we were doing there. No, we didn't get back in the car, we were used to this. These people are what we call fixers. They make our lives easier by handling all the paperwork, for a fee of course. Normally, it'll usually take 262 pesos to process an expired license. The wait for that would be like a week. In our case, we wanted it processed within the day. So that cost us about 1200 pesos. 1000 pesos is a lot of money for people like us. That's a lot of cigarrettes, man. 25 packs of Marlboro reds to be exact. But we took it. Hell, I've worked all my life to fix the system. And all my efforts were futile. A lot of people died doing the same. Hell if I'll die over this shit. If you can't beat them, take advantage.
Anyway, the guy told us there'd be no way it'd be done by the end of the day because we had to take the exam which took place on mondays. Okay fine. So we took care of the other papers, which were the pain in the ass in processing anyway. So we had our piss tested for drugs, and we had a medical examination. Funny, we were never given a vision test. Common sense should have told them that. Anyway, the "doctor" (I quoted because I wasn't sure if that man was really a doctor) took our vital stats. Height, weight, and in place of the vision test, blood pressure. Okay, I'll try to understand that. Can't have young, hot headed people driving on our streets. Fine.
After that, it was back to our fixers, who should have the other papers ready by now. They told to go to the back of the office to meet someone from the inside. This was a bigger operation than I thought. They had people on the inside. That was cool. Anyway, she gave us our papers and we had them signed by the chief himself. The chief was this short, fat, high strung, trash talking guy. That didn't bother me much because I work with high strung, mostly irate people. Anyway, the short, fat guy told us to come back on Monday.
Monday, 7:30AM. We got to the office of the LTO and we were greeted by our fixers, who told us to go to the back to take the written exam. One of them said not to worry because we would be given answers. I told him we didn't need the answers. It was a very easy written road exam, anyway. My friend said, "Don't worry 'bout it. We already paid for it, so let's just take advantage." Okay. So we went to the back.
There he was, guy in black, the proctor. It was now 8:00AM. The guy announced that the exam would start at 9. That was fine. That's usually how we do it in this country so people wouldn't be late. So the proctor started chit chatting among the examinees, mainly us. We were told, the exam was really, really difficult because it was computer generated. I said to myself, "whatever." He said, in one class, 10 out of 40 passed that exam, and 5 out of those 10 had to pay their way to pass. He also said the chief himself didn't pass the exam on his first take as well. Okay, that caught my attention. This must be a really difficult exam. I braced myself. My friend, who sat beside me, looked relaxed, but I bet he was also nervous.
The fat ass, high strung, LTO chief came out with the test questionnaires. He was trash talking again saying we were all going to fail. He shouted at one of the examminees who was standing in the corner asking him who the hell he was. I believe his exact words were, "Who the fuck do you think you are standing there like a somebody? Everyone else is seated yet you stand there like you own the place! Sit the fuck down!" I said to myself, "Ookay." Shortly he started giving out the exam papers, which consisted of 4 pages: 3 questionnaires and an answer sheet. We all got our pencils, and started scribbling.
Here comes the funny part. All of the questions in the exam were give-aways. Here's a question for example.
You should be alert and awake when on long drives.
If at any point you feel sleepy, you should:
a) Pull up to the side of the road and take a rest.
b) Take Metamphetamines or Crystal Meth.
c) Take Marijuana.
Okay, what the hell?! And 30 of 40 couldn't pass? Then I remembered. Most of the people in this city couldn't read or write in english. Damn. Anyway, I finished the exam as soon as I could, grinning, trying not to laugh.
I signed on the bottom part of the page, saying that I took the exam with a sound mind and body. And proceeded to submit my paper. My friend did the same. When I got to the front to submit the paper to the proctor, he pulled out from his desk another answer sheet all with correct answers and asked me to sign there. Okay. So this is how they do it. Everyone, even the people on the inside were in on it. Nice. Anyway, I compared all my answers with the answers from the other paper, and guess what. I had all the correct answers! And the chief himself couldn't pass. Oh my God. I could be the LTO chief. But at the wages these people are making, think I'll pass.
Anyway, we both finished the exam and laughed before going back to our fixers. They asked us how it went. We told them, "Just like chicken". They told us to come back at 1PM and our licenses would be ready. At this point, it was still like 10:30, so we went to visit an old friend who lived nearby until 1PM came. We had lunch, came back and sure enough, we were certified, non-professional drivers again. We gave our fixers a hefty tip. And off we went into the void.
One thing I learned from this whole experience, if you can't fix the system, take advantage.
It was a hot Friday morning in Mandaue City, Cebu, Philippines. My friend and I ate our breakfast separately, and at about 8 am, we arrived at the LTO office. Take note, we were in the domain of the government, and my friend and I, between us, we had 5 years of expired licenses. But when we pulled up at the LTO office with a Toyota Corolla, we weren't given a hard time. I parked my car in front of the office and locked it up. If you don't lock up your car here in our country, even if you park it in front of a police station, it's still gonna get robbed. That's protocol.
Anyway, almost immediately, two guys in street clothes approached us and asked us what we were doing there. No, we didn't get back in the car, we were used to this. These people are what we call fixers. They make our lives easier by handling all the paperwork, for a fee of course. Normally, it'll usually take 262 pesos to process an expired license. The wait for that would be like a week. In our case, we wanted it processed within the day. So that cost us about 1200 pesos. 1000 pesos is a lot of money for people like us. That's a lot of cigarrettes, man. 25 packs of Marlboro reds to be exact. But we took it. Hell, I've worked all my life to fix the system. And all my efforts were futile. A lot of people died doing the same. Hell if I'll die over this shit. If you can't beat them, take advantage.
Anyway, the guy told us there'd be no way it'd be done by the end of the day because we had to take the exam which took place on mondays. Okay fine. So we took care of the other papers, which were the pain in the ass in processing anyway. So we had our piss tested for drugs, and we had a medical examination. Funny, we were never given a vision test. Common sense should have told them that. Anyway, the "doctor" (I quoted because I wasn't sure if that man was really a doctor) took our vital stats. Height, weight, and in place of the vision test, blood pressure. Okay, I'll try to understand that. Can't have young, hot headed people driving on our streets. Fine.
After that, it was back to our fixers, who should have the other papers ready by now. They told to go to the back of the office to meet someone from the inside. This was a bigger operation than I thought. They had people on the inside. That was cool. Anyway, she gave us our papers and we had them signed by the chief himself. The chief was this short, fat, high strung, trash talking guy. That didn't bother me much because I work with high strung, mostly irate people. Anyway, the short, fat guy told us to come back on Monday.
Monday, 7:30AM. We got to the office of the LTO and we were greeted by our fixers, who told us to go to the back to take the written exam. One of them said not to worry because we would be given answers. I told him we didn't need the answers. It was a very easy written road exam, anyway. My friend said, "Don't worry 'bout it. We already paid for it, so let's just take advantage." Okay. So we went to the back.
There he was, guy in black, the proctor. It was now 8:00AM. The guy announced that the exam would start at 9. That was fine. That's usually how we do it in this country so people wouldn't be late. So the proctor started chit chatting among the examinees, mainly us. We were told, the exam was really, really difficult because it was computer generated. I said to myself, "whatever." He said, in one class, 10 out of 40 passed that exam, and 5 out of those 10 had to pay their way to pass. He also said the chief himself didn't pass the exam on his first take as well. Okay, that caught my attention. This must be a really difficult exam. I braced myself. My friend, who sat beside me, looked relaxed, but I bet he was also nervous.
The fat ass, high strung, LTO chief came out with the test questionnaires. He was trash talking again saying we were all going to fail. He shouted at one of the examminees who was standing in the corner asking him who the hell he was. I believe his exact words were, "Who the fuck do you think you are standing there like a somebody? Everyone else is seated yet you stand there like you own the place! Sit the fuck down!" I said to myself, "Ookay." Shortly he started giving out the exam papers, which consisted of 4 pages: 3 questionnaires and an answer sheet. We all got our pencils, and started scribbling.
Here comes the funny part. All of the questions in the exam were give-aways. Here's a question for example.
You should be alert and awake when on long drives.
If at any point you feel sleepy, you should:
a) Pull up to the side of the road and take a rest.
b) Take Metamphetamines or Crystal Meth.
c) Take Marijuana.
Okay, what the hell?! And 30 of 40 couldn't pass? Then I remembered. Most of the people in this city couldn't read or write in english. Damn. Anyway, I finished the exam as soon as I could, grinning, trying not to laugh.
I signed on the bottom part of the page, saying that I took the exam with a sound mind and body. And proceeded to submit my paper. My friend did the same. When I got to the front to submit the paper to the proctor, he pulled out from his desk another answer sheet all with correct answers and asked me to sign there. Okay. So this is how they do it. Everyone, even the people on the inside were in on it. Nice. Anyway, I compared all my answers with the answers from the other paper, and guess what. I had all the correct answers! And the chief himself couldn't pass. Oh my God. I could be the LTO chief. But at the wages these people are making, think I'll pass.
Anyway, we both finished the exam and laughed before going back to our fixers. They asked us how it went. We told them, "Just like chicken". They told us to come back at 1PM and our licenses would be ready. At this point, it was still like 10:30, so we went to visit an old friend who lived nearby until 1PM came. We had lunch, came back and sure enough, we were certified, non-professional drivers again. We gave our fixers a hefty tip. And off we went into the void.
One thing I learned from this whole experience, if you can't fix the system, take advantage.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Wazzzaaaaap
To my loyal readers (that's if there are any),
I've been busy and I have nothing to say. A friend of mine pulled the words out of my mouth.
This is what I wanted to say.
'Till next time
I've been busy and I have nothing to say. A friend of mine pulled the words out of my mouth.
This is what I wanted to say.
'Till next time
Thursday, October 26, 2006
My experience with PLDT
October 23, 2006
7:00AM - i dialed 171 because my phone line could not make an outbound call and my DSL modem did not have any signal. I followed the prompts,
until i got to a rep. I told her my DSL wasn't working. She said that there is a problem on the system, and it will be fixed in 24-48 hours. I
asked her what the status of the account was. She said it was okay and it would be fixed in 24-48 hours. fine.
about 11:00AM - i called back. I felt uneasy about what that other lady told me. anyway, I was able to get in touch with another rep after waiting
on the line for about 10-15 minutes. i told her the same thing i told the other lady. this time, the lady said that the account was temporarily
disconnected because of a past due payment. (what the hell?! same company, same extension, same concern, 3 hour interval, and a totally opposite answer! what the heck is going on?!) anyway, i said fine and i will pay that due.
2:15PM - after i had a light lunch, i got ready to go to the office to speak with a manager. we settled the payments, processed the reconnection and i told her. "I do not really care much about the phone. What I need more is the internet." She said, "It's okay sir, the phone will be reconnected first, and shortly, the DSL will follow." Okay. I guess it's protocol. She assured me that I will be reconnected within the day. So I left it at that. The manager was very polite, by the way.
about 4:00PM - i got home, looked at the DSL signal on the modem. no light. i went into the room where the phone was and picked it up, no tone. fine. anyway, it was still 4PM. i went to get a drink of water. when i came back to the room to pick up the phone, there was now a dial tone. i called up a friend to check if i was able to call outbound. we were talking. things were starting to look good at this point.
7:00PM - i started to feel uneasy now because it's been 3 hours and still no dsl connection. i called up 171 and followed the voice prompts again. I was able to speak with another rep after 17 minutes of waiting. i told her my concern and everything that has transpired. she told me that since i already paid for the account, i will be reactivated in 24-48 hours. what the hell?! the manager at the office said, "...within the day." She said the ff: "Sorry po sir, sir, kase hindi kami maka bigay ng exact time kung kailan mag balik yung dsl ninyo kase pending pa ang activation. basta 24-48 hours ang oras para mag activate." For those of you who do not understand monkey language, this is the english translation: "I'm sorry sir, but we cannot give an exact time when the DSL connection will be back because the activation will take 24-48 hours." Okay. At this point, I was starting to really get pissed, but I maintained my composure. I told her that I was informed that I would be reconnected within the day. I asked her if there was anything she could do to speed up the process. She said that since the account has been paid for, she will do follow ups to activate my account. I said thank you very much, and hung up.
At this point, it was already 9:00 PM so I went to sleep. Enough aggravation for this day.
October 24, 2006
12:00AM - i got up and got ready for work. When I checked the modem/router, still no DSL signal. Fine. I understood because it wasn't business hours yet, anyway. I went off to work and did my daily routine.
11:00AM - i got home from work, immediately checked for the DSL signal, and still nothing. Okay. My heart rate went up again because of the anger building up. I called up 171, informed them of everything that has happened so far, and i got this service order number which they gave to me. They told me to call up 17144 and provide the service order number. Well, I did and this is what I got. "Sorry, this is an invalid extrension, please press 0 to speak with a customer service representative." I was pissed at this point because I felt I was given the runaround. Anyway, I remembered that I had two phone lines at home. One was mine, and the other was my father's. I pressed 0 and spoke with someone after about another 15 minutes of waiting. I informed the rep what happened and I was wondering if I could give the service order number instead to look it up. She told me that she was from a different department and told me to call once again 17144 to get to the correct department. I said, "Look ma'am. I just dialed that number and your prompt told me that I dialed the wrong extension." And she told me I might have dialed it wrong. (okay, bitch, we'll see about that!)
11:30AM - i was still on the line with the rep when I told her, "Stay on the line and I will dial that number with my other telephone line, okay?" "Okay," she said. I dialed 17144 on my father's line and I got the same voice prompt and another rep who told me just the same. At this point, I hung up my father's phone. I said to the rep on my phone that I got the same results. She told me that to keep dialing that number until I was forwarded to the correct department. What the hell?! Russian Roulette on an automatic response?! I told her, "Listen to me, if you cannot help me with this, forward me to your supervisor." She said okay and placed me on hold. She came back about 2 minutes, and told me that she didn't have a supervisor that was available. Hell. I was really, really pissed off at this point. But still, I managed to remain calm. I told her I'd wait. She placed me on hold for another two minutes, and then hung up.
The End.
Moral of the story: Subscribe to PLDT, and experience your very own customer service hell.
Note: I don't blame any of the reps that I've spoken with. I understand that these people are merely gears in a bigger wheel trying to make ends meet. I understand that they have limitations on what they can do on their systems. They can only help us so much. My main concern, is the system itself. PLDT, how much are you spending on your customer service department? How much do you really care about your clients? I guess you don't. After my 1-year lock-in, I'm moving to Globe. They may also have bad customer service there, but I'm willing to take the risk considering the kind of shit PLDT put me through.
P.S.: My DSL connection came back about 3:00 PM on that day. I'm wondering, if I didn't call to bitch about it, would it have been reconnected at all? I guess we'll never know.
7:00AM - i dialed 171 because my phone line could not make an outbound call and my DSL modem did not have any signal. I followed the prompts,
until i got to a rep. I told her my DSL wasn't working. She said that there is a problem on the system, and it will be fixed in 24-48 hours. I
asked her what the status of the account was. She said it was okay and it would be fixed in 24-48 hours. fine.
about 11:00AM - i called back. I felt uneasy about what that other lady told me. anyway, I was able to get in touch with another rep after waiting
on the line for about 10-15 minutes. i told her the same thing i told the other lady. this time, the lady said that the account was temporarily
disconnected because of a past due payment. (what the hell?! same company, same extension, same concern, 3 hour interval, and a totally opposite answer! what the heck is going on?!) anyway, i said fine and i will pay that due.
2:15PM - after i had a light lunch, i got ready to go to the office to speak with a manager. we settled the payments, processed the reconnection and i told her. "I do not really care much about the phone. What I need more is the internet." She said, "It's okay sir, the phone will be reconnected first, and shortly, the DSL will follow." Okay. I guess it's protocol. She assured me that I will be reconnected within the day. So I left it at that. The manager was very polite, by the way.
about 4:00PM - i got home, looked at the DSL signal on the modem. no light. i went into the room where the phone was and picked it up, no tone. fine. anyway, it was still 4PM. i went to get a drink of water. when i came back to the room to pick up the phone, there was now a dial tone. i called up a friend to check if i was able to call outbound. we were talking. things were starting to look good at this point.
7:00PM - i started to feel uneasy now because it's been 3 hours and still no dsl connection. i called up 171 and followed the voice prompts again. I was able to speak with another rep after 17 minutes of waiting. i told her my concern and everything that has transpired. she told me that since i already paid for the account, i will be reactivated in 24-48 hours. what the hell?! the manager at the office said, "...within the day." She said the ff: "Sorry po sir, sir, kase hindi kami maka bigay ng exact time kung kailan mag balik yung dsl ninyo kase pending pa ang activation. basta 24-48 hours ang oras para mag activate." For those of you who do not understand monkey language, this is the english translation: "I'm sorry sir, but we cannot give an exact time when the DSL connection will be back because the activation will take 24-48 hours." Okay. At this point, I was starting to really get pissed, but I maintained my composure. I told her that I was informed that I would be reconnected within the day. I asked her if there was anything she could do to speed up the process. She said that since the account has been paid for, she will do follow ups to activate my account. I said thank you very much, and hung up.
At this point, it was already 9:00 PM so I went to sleep. Enough aggravation for this day.
October 24, 2006
12:00AM - i got up and got ready for work. When I checked the modem/router, still no DSL signal. Fine. I understood because it wasn't business hours yet, anyway. I went off to work and did my daily routine.
11:00AM - i got home from work, immediately checked for the DSL signal, and still nothing. Okay. My heart rate went up again because of the anger building up. I called up 171, informed them of everything that has happened so far, and i got this service order number which they gave to me. They told me to call up 17144 and provide the service order number. Well, I did and this is what I got. "Sorry, this is an invalid extrension, please press 0 to speak with a customer service representative." I was pissed at this point because I felt I was given the runaround. Anyway, I remembered that I had two phone lines at home. One was mine, and the other was my father's. I pressed 0 and spoke with someone after about another 15 minutes of waiting. I informed the rep what happened and I was wondering if I could give the service order number instead to look it up. She told me that she was from a different department and told me to call once again 17144 to get to the correct department. I said, "Look ma'am. I just dialed that number and your prompt told me that I dialed the wrong extension." And she told me I might have dialed it wrong. (okay, bitch, we'll see about that!)
11:30AM - i was still on the line with the rep when I told her, "Stay on the line and I will dial that number with my other telephone line, okay?" "Okay," she said. I dialed 17144 on my father's line and I got the same voice prompt and another rep who told me just the same. At this point, I hung up my father's phone. I said to the rep on my phone that I got the same results. She told me that to keep dialing that number until I was forwarded to the correct department. What the hell?! Russian Roulette on an automatic response?! I told her, "Listen to me, if you cannot help me with this, forward me to your supervisor." She said okay and placed me on hold. She came back about 2 minutes, and told me that she didn't have a supervisor that was available. Hell. I was really, really pissed off at this point. But still, I managed to remain calm. I told her I'd wait. She placed me on hold for another two minutes, and then hung up.
The End.
Moral of the story: Subscribe to PLDT, and experience your very own customer service hell.
Note: I don't blame any of the reps that I've spoken with. I understand that these people are merely gears in a bigger wheel trying to make ends meet. I understand that they have limitations on what they can do on their systems. They can only help us so much. My main concern, is the system itself. PLDT, how much are you spending on your customer service department? How much do you really care about your clients? I guess you don't. After my 1-year lock-in, I'm moving to Globe. They may also have bad customer service there, but I'm willing to take the risk considering the kind of shit PLDT put me through.
P.S.: My DSL connection came back about 3:00 PM on that day. I'm wondering, if I didn't call to bitch about it, would it have been reconnected at all? I guess we'll never know.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Death is the Best Option
Life could be a dream. Unfortunately, mine is a full force nightmare. I don't know if I will survive a few more months of this. I have no life outside of work, nothing to look forward to every day that passes. I think if someone kills me now, it would be the most humane thing a person can do for me. Ever since I started living, I have been confused on what to do with my life. Fortunately, I never had any identity crises. But I believe I'm suffering worse. At least people who are confused with their identity have other people with the same problem to turn to. I, on the other hand, am literally alone. I have nobody who understands exactly what I'm going through. People who have taken little glimpses into the life I'm living say that I have it good. I'm a very lucky person. I am very lucky to be me. I do not feel that way. I feel I can be more, but I have not the faintest idea where to start. Hell, I don't even like my job. As a matter of fact, I don't like any job. I don't know, I think I'm better off dead.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Life So Far
I'm now working in this company as part of the production team for about a month now. As I may have earlier mentioned, I'm a customer service representative. My short time with this company has garnered a lot of learning experiences. I have learned patience, perseverance, and tolerance. At first, I have learned to like it. I handle all my relationships outside of work the same way I handle work, with caution and political correctness.
Although I am getting very good ratings for my job, it seems that my life is still as empty as before. I feel that I'm not cut out to do this type of work. I seemed to be happy with my last employment, except that it was really getting stagnant and I felt like I needed to move on. Now that I did, I still feel as empty as before, if not, maybe even more. Maybe I just don't know what to do with my life and my career. So for now, I guess I'll just keep on pushing on and keeping up the good work. Maybe someday, I'll finally get into the type of work that'll keep me happy.
Bob is still watching me from the sidelines. I bet he's saying to himself, "At least the bum had the courage to accept change." Nonetheless, I still feel like a fucking bum.
People at work have been great. They support me and I support them. Unfortunately, this isn't the crowd that I would like to be exposed to. It seems like I am a bit too mature for them. Not that I am bragging, but if that's how it sounds like, then so be it. At least one of them understands me. This person is the guy who also quit the old job to join the team. Unfortunately, our trio hasn't been united yet. Soon, we will be. And things may get back to the way they used to.
Although I am getting very good ratings for my job, it seems that my life is still as empty as before. I feel that I'm not cut out to do this type of work. I seemed to be happy with my last employment, except that it was really getting stagnant and I felt like I needed to move on. Now that I did, I still feel as empty as before, if not, maybe even more. Maybe I just don't know what to do with my life and my career. So for now, I guess I'll just keep on pushing on and keeping up the good work. Maybe someday, I'll finally get into the type of work that'll keep me happy.
Bob is still watching me from the sidelines. I bet he's saying to himself, "At least the bum had the courage to accept change." Nonetheless, I still feel like a fucking bum.
People at work have been great. They support me and I support them. Unfortunately, this isn't the crowd that I would like to be exposed to. It seems like I am a bit too mature for them. Not that I am bragging, but if that's how it sounds like, then so be it. At least one of them understands me. This person is the guy who also quit the old job to join the team. Unfortunately, our trio hasn't been united yet. Soon, we will be. And things may get back to the way they used to.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Internet is Shit
If you want to listen to a person blowing smoke, and using big words like they have a point, click on the link below.
Read
Read
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
New Beginnings
I have quit my job as project manager to pursue a less luxurious title. I am now currently training to become a customer representative. Yes, it's a lower position, operations, to be exact. I have had a few other choices which could have landed me a higher paying, yet less stressful job position. Mother Teresa has been known to say that the more a person suffers, the closer he gets to God. I'm only applying the analogy. In my case, the harder I work, the more I enjoy the rewards.
This isn't only my reason though. Aside from allowing myself to be able to experience true happiness, I also have my selfish reasons. The place I'm working now, enables me to be close to the people I want to be around. Call me weak, but yes, I'm going where my comrades are going. I do not long for acceptance in this society. I don't long for the approval of anyone. I just want to surround myself with people whom I can learn from, whether they be my enemies, or my friends.
In this case, the reason I'm moving on, is because of my friends. The winds of my life has taken me in a different direction. I just hope I can navigate the surf until I can see the land.
This isn't only my reason though. Aside from allowing myself to be able to experience true happiness, I also have my selfish reasons. The place I'm working now, enables me to be close to the people I want to be around. Call me weak, but yes, I'm going where my comrades are going. I do not long for acceptance in this society. I don't long for the approval of anyone. I just want to surround myself with people whom I can learn from, whether they be my enemies, or my friends.
In this case, the reason I'm moving on, is because of my friends. The winds of my life has taken me in a different direction. I just hope I can navigate the surf until I can see the land.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Pirate Bay Gives EA the Middle Finger
I just love it when people don't give a shit, and show it poetically. Electronic Arts has been dissing the Pirate Bay with emails threatening them with a lawsuit. Here's an example of how went down, and how TPB reacted:
It doesn't stop here. There are also threats from Apple, Microsoft, Dreamworks, etc. which TPB also responded in kind. Technically, TPB isn't commiting any sort of copyright infringement. They are only expressing free media. If anything, I think they're bridging the gap between different types of culture. The companies that are pressing these lawsuits are really digging themselves into a hole. I think the only way to stop "piracy", which is really a very fluid concept, is to stop selling their software.
For now, until they can illegalize BitTorrent technology, TPB will continue to rock on and continue to practice free media. I'd like to tell everybody from TPB, "God is on your side."
TPB Legal Threats
> This unauthorized activity with respect to the
> distribution of EA's software products
> constitutes infringement of EA's intellectual
> property rights. EA enforces its intellectual
> property rights very aggressively
> by using every legal option available.
Please don't sue us right now, our lawyer is passed out
in an alley from too much moonshine, so please atleast
wait until he's found and doesn't
have a huge hangover...
It doesn't stop here. There are also threats from Apple, Microsoft, Dreamworks, etc. which TPB also responded in kind. Technically, TPB isn't commiting any sort of copyright infringement. They are only expressing free media. If anything, I think they're bridging the gap between different types of culture. The companies that are pressing these lawsuits are really digging themselves into a hole. I think the only way to stop "piracy", which is really a very fluid concept, is to stop selling their software.
For now, until they can illegalize BitTorrent technology, TPB will continue to rock on and continue to practice free media. I'd like to tell everybody from TPB, "God is on your side."
TPB Legal Threats
Monday, June 12, 2006
Same Old, Same Old
I don't think I should be writing anything here today. I don't feel anything's changed. Sure, I have a lot of free time now, but I sure am doing nothing about it. I don't know. I just don't care anymore. I told an ex-coworker who asked me what do I want to do in the future, this is what I told him: "If somebody wanted me dead, I'm not sure if I'm going to make a hit on him before he does me, or if I just sit, wait, and welcome death."
This is how vague my concept of a future is. I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow, how much more plan out the rest of my life. Honestly, I want to die. I feel I have no purpose in this life anymore. If only I didn't have a loving and supportive family, it would really be easier to take my own life.
This is how vague my concept of a future is. I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow, how much more plan out the rest of my life. Honestly, I want to die. I feel I have no purpose in this life anymore. If only I didn't have a loving and supportive family, it would really be easier to take my own life.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Changes
At this point in my life, my career advancement has gotten a bit fluid lately. The work I do now can hardly compare to the work of my dreams. I'm still happily employed except I'm starting to see that I'm almost in collision with a dead end. One of our workers once told me about the three Rs. 1) Relax, 2) Resign, 3) Resume. When she mentioned that, I just brushed it off with a laugh. As time passed by, I came to realize that she was totally right. If you want your life to progress, you have to be susceptible to change. This is my greatest fear. But then again, fear is what pushes me to do my best.
This is what I've finally decided to do. Although sometimes, my laziness takes the better of me, I'm making it a point to move forward in my career. I have to find ways to expose myself and flaunt my skills. Currently, I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. I haven't found my niche yet. I think my commitment problems also have a contribution to all this. Anyway, the next best thing to do at this point, is find out what interests me the most, and work with it.
Currently, I'm still hanging in the balance. I should be able to get up off on my feet soon before I hit that dead-end wall.
Let me end this by sharing something a wise lady once told me, "When you get to the top, never forget the people who put you there. Because whether you realize it or not, they put you where you are, therefore they can also pull you back down."
This is what I've finally decided to do. Although sometimes, my laziness takes the better of me, I'm making it a point to move forward in my career. I have to find ways to expose myself and flaunt my skills. Currently, I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. I haven't found my niche yet. I think my commitment problems also have a contribution to all this. Anyway, the next best thing to do at this point, is find out what interests me the most, and work with it.
Currently, I'm still hanging in the balance. I should be able to get up off on my feet soon before I hit that dead-end wall.
Let me end this by sharing something a wise lady once told me, "When you get to the top, never forget the people who put you there. Because whether you realize it or not, they put you where you are, therefore they can also pull you back down."
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Dying Days
Well, at this point in time, I have no idea what to do or where to go. My life is literally at a stand still. I'm still 22 years old and I'm already in a stagnant state. I feel the need to retire and enjoy life's finest things. But I know I shouldn't. Mainly because I have yet to experience more of what the world has to offer. Bob keeps reminding me of that. Quite frankly, I'm happy with how much I've accomplished and how far I've gone. And this is what scares me the most. Because I haven't done much. I get contented even though it's time to go for more. I have more responsibilities to take care of, and obligations to fulfill, but the lazy ass me is saying, "Settle down, Relax..." when I know I shouldn't.
I'm only going where the wind takes me. I should be making my own waves. I should be the captain of my heart. I should be a leader somewhere in my soul. But no, I'm happy being here, where I'm at. This isn't right. This shouldn't be the case. I know my capacity as a thinker. I know I can do more with my life. I know I can make a difference in this forsaken planet. I just don't know where or when to execute. Or I know when and where, it's just that my laziness is eating out the better part of me. I have not the slightest idea.
I'm going crazy. I'm going nuts. I'm just glad I'm not alone.
I'm only going where the wind takes me. I should be making my own waves. I should be the captain of my heart. I should be a leader somewhere in my soul. But no, I'm happy being here, where I'm at. This isn't right. This shouldn't be the case. I know my capacity as a thinker. I know I can do more with my life. I know I can make a difference in this forsaken planet. I just don't know where or when to execute. Or I know when and where, it's just that my laziness is eating out the better part of me. I have not the slightest idea.
I'm going crazy. I'm going nuts. I'm just glad I'm not alone.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
MPAA Vs. TPB
Quoted from the full story:
Full Story
"All of us who run the TPB are against the copyright laws and want them to change," said "Brokep," a Pirate Bay operator. "We see it as our duty to spread culture and media. Technology is just a means to doing that."Word!!!
Full Story
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Bob Strikes Again
I was lying on my bed, thinking of what I've been through and where I might be headed when something painful hit me in the head. It was Bob. He said something to say. I couldn't squeeze in a word. He just kept on talking and talking and talking. Here's the monologue:
Bob: What the fuck are you doing? Shouldn't you be up somewhere reading something or studying something? Or loving someone? It's just like you, you fucking lazy asshole. Lying there, relaxing like there's no tomorrow. You don't know the meaning of pain and suffering. People out there are dying because they don't have food for survival, and there you are, sitting on your lazy ass, and enjoying the finer things in life, even though you don't deserve it. Why, I should smack you like a little bitch right now. Then again, you'll learn your lesson. I guess pain and suffering has to be part of your experience so you'll have some determination to keep your life on track. Boy, you don't know you have it good! It sickens me. You live a life you don't deserve, and you don't even exhert the minimal amount of effort to deserve it. You're a disgrace to your family and what they believe in. Worse of all, you're a disgrace to yourself. Man, you fuckin' suck!
It ended there. I got up, turned on my firefox browser, and started studying this new thing Mark told me about, Ruby on Rails. God, Bob's a pain in the ass, but I try to remember that he's only keeping me in check.
Bob: What the fuck are you doing? Shouldn't you be up somewhere reading something or studying something? Or loving someone? It's just like you, you fucking lazy asshole. Lying there, relaxing like there's no tomorrow. You don't know the meaning of pain and suffering. People out there are dying because they don't have food for survival, and there you are, sitting on your lazy ass, and enjoying the finer things in life, even though you don't deserve it. Why, I should smack you like a little bitch right now. Then again, you'll learn your lesson. I guess pain and suffering has to be part of your experience so you'll have some determination to keep your life on track. Boy, you don't know you have it good! It sickens me. You live a life you don't deserve, and you don't even exhert the minimal amount of effort to deserve it. You're a disgrace to your family and what they believe in. Worse of all, you're a disgrace to yourself. Man, you fuckin' suck!
It ended there. I got up, turned on my firefox browser, and started studying this new thing Mark told me about, Ruby on Rails. God, Bob's a pain in the ass, but I try to remember that he's only keeping me in check.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Saturday, February 25, 2006
The Battle Against Piracy
The MPAA (Motion Pictures Association of America) has launched an all out war against USENET. It's filing lawsuits against Torrentspy, ISOHunt, and other Torrent "suppliers". To me, what they're doing is a lost cause. A few years ago, I forget which association, brought down suprnova.org. It was this torrent site that had thousands of illegal downloads. Anyway, they brought it down, but that didn't prevent other torrent sites from popping up. Did it? I think the MPAA is just looking for a quick source of money. They, themselves don't give a fuck about piracy. Because, if they really wanted the shit to stop, they'd make a smarter move by taking down the source. And that's BitTorrent itself.
Well, until they do, pirates like myself will still have torrent sites to go to.
Read
Ciao Bitches!
Well, until they do, pirates like myself will still have torrent sites to go to.
Read
Ciao Bitches!
Friday, February 24, 2006
I Wanna Die...Now...No...Later...No...Oh I Don't Know!!!
I'm not exactly the suicidal type, but I do have my tendencies. I've contemplated suicide quite a number of times, but I just don't see the justification of taking my own life just like that. I want my death to have an impact on the universe, or the very least, the world. I don't mean like people weeping and sobbing over my dead body. I mean like mayhem, destruction, and devastation, all in my name.
I want people to remember me as someone who had a very big impact on the face of the earth. I don't like acts of terrorism either. If I want to be recognized, I want to be famous, not infamous. I want the world to shudder in respect, chanting and singing praises in my name. I want to be a god, with a capital G.
My biggest problem is, I have no idea how to achieve anything I've mentioned above, so I guess I'll stick to living. It's got me thinking though. We've all heard of the five stages of dying. I wonder if I'll be able to stick to those rules. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. I think I'll skip the denial part. I have already accepted the fact that we're not immortal. We have got to go sometime. But anger, heh. I won't leave this life without a blast. The world will feel my fury. Mountains will crumble, and seas will roar. Bargaining, what the fuck for? Depression, it's for pussies.
Well, After a couple of minutes of reflection, I guess if I were to leave this life, there are only two stages of dying for me. Anger and Acceptance. For the meantime, I roam this lucid earth, miserable and bitter. And I am loving every single millisecond.
Cheers Bitches.
I want people to remember me as someone who had a very big impact on the face of the earth. I don't like acts of terrorism either. If I want to be recognized, I want to be famous, not infamous. I want the world to shudder in respect, chanting and singing praises in my name. I want to be a god, with a capital G.
My biggest problem is, I have no idea how to achieve anything I've mentioned above, so I guess I'll stick to living. It's got me thinking though. We've all heard of the five stages of dying. I wonder if I'll be able to stick to those rules. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. I think I'll skip the denial part. I have already accepted the fact that we're not immortal. We have got to go sometime. But anger, heh. I won't leave this life without a blast. The world will feel my fury. Mountains will crumble, and seas will roar. Bargaining, what the fuck for? Depression, it's for pussies.
Well, After a couple of minutes of reflection, I guess if I were to leave this life, there are only two stages of dying for me. Anger and Acceptance. For the meantime, I roam this lucid earth, miserable and bitter. And I am loving every single millisecond.
Cheers Bitches.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
God Hates His Own Believers...
Quote from Reuters:
"Hopes faded on Saturday for a village of 1,800 people in the central Philippines engulfed by a torrent of mud and rock when a rain-soaked mountain collapsed on homes and a crowded school. Only 35 bodies had been pulled from the reddish soil and 57 survivors accounted for."
The Whole Story
What a tragedy. 1,800 people just dying off like that. No reason at all. Mountain just collapsing without any warning and kills off a whole damn town. Tsk tsk. Personally, I'm not a superstitious person. I don't believe that there's a higher being in control of us all. I believe in science, and that the world is a product of the collision of cosmic particles.
But if I were to stop and think about it, I could also be wrong, right? There could really be a God, right? In my opinion, if there was a God, he's a really mean one. How could he just let all those innocent people living their lives and minding their businesses die out just like that? Where's the justification in all this? And coming from the same country as these people, I can assure you, they are devout Christians. Why did God wipe them out?
Meanwhile, here I am, taking His name in vain, spreading the word that He does not exist, daring Him to strike me down with lightning, trying to debunk every single verse in the goddamn bible...yet he allows me to live. Where's the fuckin' sense in that?
I'll put the sense in that. There is no God. What happened to Leyte was a damn accident. Nothing more. It wasn't God's will to wipe out this whole town. "God works in mysterious ways." Bullshit! IT WAS JUST A GODDAMN ACCIDENT.
Still, I feel sorry for them. My deepest heartfelt condolences go to the affected families.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Kalapana's The Hurt
I've searched high and low, but I couldn't find complete lyrics to the song. Not that it's a big deal or anything, but the all the lyrics sites I've searched contain the same old lyrics. It goes like this:
Anyway, that's the whole song, but it's not complete. There are a few parts that all lyric sites failed to notice. I don't know if they intentionally did this or what. You might not understand what I mean, so let me explain. Like this part of the song:
Oh what have I done
All the time I guess it was just fun
I gave away this Sweetest girl I knew
Oh, just for you
At the end of this stanza, the singers in the background murmur something but none of the lyric sites above mention what they're saying. I mean, I've been familiar with this song for a long time now, but it's only recently that I was starting to become bothered by this. I try to make out the lyrics myself, but I can't understand a single word. It's starting to become an itch in the middle of my back that I couldn't scratch. If someone helps me out, thanks. If nobody does...
Oh well.
Oh you say you're mine
And I believe you every single time
Even though they say you're not my kind
I just can't believe you'd lie
Oh all my friends are laughing
Seeing you out with other men i'm dying
Cant you see it in my eyes i'm cryin
I just cant believe you're not mine
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Oh what have I done
All the time I guess it was just fun
I gave away this Sweetest girl I knew
Oh, just for you
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Oh i know
I'll never never never know the truth
Oh I love you too much girl to spoil your fun
I can't run
No no no
I can't run
I guess I had it coming
I fooled around before when I was tied
And now my freedom stings me I couldnt hide
But I'd still be a fool all my life
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Hurt the love you gave me
Hurt the man who loves you
Hurt the love you gave me
Hurt the man who loves you
Hurt the love you gave me
Hurt the man who loves you
Hurt the love you gave me
Hurt hurt
Hurt hurt
Hurt hurt
Hurt hurt.. (repeat til fades)
And I believe you every single time
Even though they say you're not my kind
I just can't believe you'd lie
Oh all my friends are laughing
Seeing you out with other men i'm dying
Cant you see it in my eyes i'm cryin
I just cant believe you're not mine
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Oh what have I done
All the time I guess it was just fun
I gave away this Sweetest girl I knew
Oh, just for you
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Oh i know
I'll never never never know the truth
Oh I love you too much girl to spoil your fun
I can't run
No no no
I can't run
I guess I had it coming
I fooled around before when I was tied
And now my freedom stings me I couldnt hide
But I'd still be a fool all my life
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Would you hurt the man who loves you
Would you hurt the man today
Would you take the love you gave me away
Hurt the love you gave me
Hurt the man who loves you
Hurt the love you gave me
Hurt the man who loves you
Hurt the love you gave me
Hurt the man who loves you
Hurt the love you gave me
Hurt hurt
Hurt hurt
Hurt hurt
Hurt hurt.. (repeat til fades)
from Lyrics On Demand
Anyway, that's the whole song, but it's not complete. There are a few parts that all lyric sites failed to notice. I don't know if they intentionally did this or what. You might not understand what I mean, so let me explain. Like this part of the song:
Oh what have I done
All the time I guess it was just fun
I gave away this Sweetest girl I knew
Oh, just for you
At the end of this stanza, the singers in the background murmur something but none of the lyric sites above mention what they're saying. I mean, I've been familiar with this song for a long time now, but it's only recently that I was starting to become bothered by this. I try to make out the lyrics myself, but I can't understand a single word. It's starting to become an itch in the middle of my back that I couldn't scratch. If someone helps me out, thanks. If nobody does...
Oh well.
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