I don't think I should be writing anything here today. I don't feel anything's changed. Sure, I have a lot of free time now, but I sure am doing nothing about it. I don't know. I just don't care anymore. I told an ex-coworker who asked me what do I want to do in the future, this is what I told him: "If somebody wanted me dead, I'm not sure if I'm going to make a hit on him before he does me, or if I just sit, wait, and welcome death."
This is how vague my concept of a future is. I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow, how much more plan out the rest of my life. Honestly, I want to die. I feel I have no purpose in this life anymore. If only I didn't have a loving and supportive family, it would really be easier to take my own life.
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